Keeper
smothered in ocean,
there is pressure on my chest as i am thrust below a surface of vacant blue
like a balloon, my crevices fill,
and i am oh so heavy
so i sink
down,
down,
and down.
i am waiting to hit the floor,
or to be lifted out like a catch—
gasping salty air,
flopping on the wooden dock,
and my ears popped to crisp celebrations (“wow, she’s a big one”)
…but
it’s been over a year already,
and i really miss the crickets
time is no remedy, and she never was
she tucks tragedy behind other leftovers
we forget, until
we do not feel anything at all
but,
i do not want to forget
you are a part of me like all else was
and though you reigned in cruelty,
and made me cry
i remember,
she loved you
For Dom
When time after time, men disappoint
Unpredictable, motives only to touch
Wide-eyed; somehow always left in disgust
What separates you from the rest
is that you’d never even think it
But may I hold you?
In a way that’s never romantic, never tainted by lust or fracturing innocence
You, as a child in my arms
I feed you the flowing warmth of affection; validity you never received
The purest form of touch I never knew existed
I'm Not Mad, I'm Just--
I caught a glimpse of your true self and I cried
Ingrained in the grooves of my brain—stamped onto the lights of my eyes
Her and me; our hearts beating with fear and unsafe familiarity
You broke a promise we never made
You wear your armour like you were born in it
My words fade before they graze you; they ricochet off your shield
Shine your morality when it’s convenient, but there’s ignorance in your movement
We both know you’re not a knight, and you never will be
At last, here we are: estranged beings bound by a single, fraying string of hope
She’s wounded, whispering to me that I can not make the same mistake
So my decision stands:
I’ve given up on you
M&M
there’s parts of you tucked away,
glints of deep blue hidden beneath your pupils
they’re muffled—banging on the circular door, yelling to me something…
you’ve stuffed them far back enough that they push against pink circular grooves
they trace the nerves organised across your spine, fleshy roots split and splayed
it’s kind of weird to me;
why do you hide?
instead of cracking your shell,
i let you sink into my cushioned tongue,
and you melt away
exposed decadent soul—sweet and mellow
you’re terrified to let me but it’s
you, the one i’ve searched for
and i like the taste